I am here. In my happy place. The sand, the breeze, the view of my two babies playing in the water, it’s all here. Yet I sit with a mind going every which way, full of emotions that I am struggling to sort. Our move, the packing, the newness – tho it’s not foreign to me, I am scared this time around. I know it will all pan out. And all the logistics I am worried about — they won’t matter.
From the time I’ve met my husband he’s always told me stories about his vacations here. Every summer his family would go and stay a week at his Nana’s Caswell beach cottage in Oak Island, NC. He’d tell me about the sleeping and shower arrangements (boys and girls), how they would spend countless hours in the sun, run quickly on the boardwalk to avoid burnt soles, and take the best naps on the porch hammock. His imagery never failed to mention the way it smelled, the sounds the waves sang, and the over all feeling of many childhood memories made here.
It’s clear the history and memories made are what makes this place special. Those said memories he loves to talk about – we as a family have added to. Each time we are here, new chapters are written. Tho we’ve been here countless times, re-living the experience over and over is something I look forward to. The minute I leave is the minute I am counting down the days until we come back.
So, I am forcing myself to live in the moment and push past any fear of tomorrow. Watch my babies soak up the sun, breathe in the seas air, reminisce with family about the last time we were here, and the time before that .. making new memories, all while writing a new chapter.
All the stories of how I got here, our family, my style, struggles, victories and all the in betweens are set to come out eventually; a reason I’ve created this space. To vent, share my victories, conflicts, moments, and all that makes me, Me.
It’s funny how it took me nearly 37 years to come to the realization that the stories are what have molded me into my own. Accepting myself and who I am hasn’t always been easy. I am here to share that those circumstances, what you’ve endured, what you may still struggle with — is valuable. You are valuable. And if anything comes from this blog, I would hope you see the importance of enjoying ALL your stories. The ones of your origin, your childhood, how you’ve learned to like or reason for your dislikes, your travels, even the ones you haven’t written. Love all of it. Just as I am starting here to share with you, currently on a sandy beach chair.